Official Blog of Phaze Books, Digital First Publisher of Romance!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Let's Talk About Sex... Lubrication

Hmmm, this is the easiest and the hardest thing to deal with in M/M writing.

Easy because everyone has sex (okay... not everyone, but a REAL good percentage of the world). The emotions, whether you're male or female, and whether you're playing with someone of the same or opposite sex are generally the same. Fear of rejection, longing, lust, all of those are basic human emotions. Unless you're writing way out there space aliens those emotions will play a large part in your writing. If they don't, it will sound like a stroke piece from the Hustler letters page (which pay pretty good). But, what makes a romance a romance is the emotional roller coaster you put the characters on. If you write fairly well, you should be able to master the emotional aspect of M/M writing.

Hard, in more ways than one, because if you're not a gay man, you're really not familiar with the whole mechanics of the thing. Unless you've engaged in anal sex... then you've got the bottom half of the guy on guy act down (or if you're a open minded guy, who's okay with toys). But homosexual sex, like heterosexual sex, is not always an insert tab A into slot B proposition (we'll deal with that on a another day).

The one must have, in any story, LUBRICATION. Outside of the Yaoi Genre, men's asses do not self lubricate. Unless they are flat out drunk or really experienced (most likely a combination of both) you're characters are going to need some help. And even then, it may not be a pleasant experience for the inserting party -- the friction can be a little too harsh.

Examples of Lubrication:

Spit Pro: you always have it around; Con: there really just isn't enough

Cum Pro: fairly readily available; Con: Not such a good idea in the era of Aids

Baby Oil Pro: Cheap, readily available; Con: Not good with condoms (and if you're doing moderns you'll have to deal with the issue of condoms we'll take up making them sexy later), messy, hard to carry around with you.

commercial Lubes Pro: Not too expensive, good availability, comes in convenient individual sample sizes Con: you don't always have it on hand when you need it. And that leads us to another topic (we'll hit later) what can the guys do if they're out of glide?


Nicole said...

Hey James!
Those "examples of lubrication" are a turn on :D


Angel said...

Spit always works. And as long as there's enough to get in and keep moving, it's not too uncomfortable.
Never tried it with a condom, though.

Bad choices:
Vaseline. A staple of the 50-70s, but it really is uncomfortable and it will eat a condom. Voice of experience, folks.

Blood. It gets sticky. Not to mention how much you have to hurt your partner to get enough. (I've written it in one extreme S&M scene)

Soap. JUST NO. OK? Not comfy for the top (burns in the urethra) not slick enough for the bottom.

James Buchanan said...

Bwhahahahha... Dear God Nicole, didn't know you were that easy to please. ;P

Soap also dries out the skin.

Vasiline also is messy as all get out (clothes, hair shudder) and really sticky had to get off.

Blood... so not recommended unless it's pay back for the villan time. Even then, just no, do not pass go, do not collect $200.00.

Jade said...

Condoms can be really sexy... ripping the packet open with one's teeth, all the touching involved in putting them on...

Mychael Black said...

Another one I've used in fantasy/semi-historical pieces is oil, along the lines of olive oil or anointing oil or the like. It's not the best, but in stories with such settings, it does the trick.

James Buchanan said...

Olive oil has a tendancy to get rather... hrm sticky after a bit.

James Buchanan said...

And Yeah Jade!!! Wondering what happened to you. :D

Mychael Black said...

Olive oil has a tendancy to get rather... hrm sticky after a bit.

Yup...but they didn't have Wet or Elbow Grease in the Middle Ages.