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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Savor the Flavor of romance

...if you can call some things romance.

When I was writing TV reviews for SUITE magazine, I included in one of my columns my opinions of the first Flavor of Love series. Typical elimination reality fare, with Flavor Flav as the object of affection and 20 screaming chickies tearing out each other's hair to get a close-up of his grill. The show is deplorable, exploits women, and sets the feminist movement back to the Stone Age...so why can't I stop watching it? Why have I become so obsessed with a show about a D-list celebrity whose societal relevance faded in the mid-80s? Why is it that I can name the last seven finalists from season one (Hoopz, Goldie, Pumkin, New York, Hottie, Smiley, Sweetie) but I can't name any Supreme Court judges? Am I that entranced by the reflection of Flav's grill that I can't think straight?

Well, we're close to the end of the show now, and it's down to New York and Deelishious. My money's on New York, but I have a niggling feeling she will be shot down again. I didn't care much for her in the first show, but in retrospect she was probably the better choice over Hoopz. My guess is that if VH1 wants to perpetuate this bling-encrusted train wreck they'll encourage Flav in his decisions, have a season three, and maybe give New York her own show. Her ego can barely fit the mansion as is, and personally I think a show about her and her mother might make for good guilty indulgence TV. They'll have to drink lots of Republic of Tea products to keep their voices.

Yes, I do have a point coming here. Bear with me.

Somehow the subject of Flav came up in conversation, and we pondered the difficult question: what nickname would Flav give us if we were on that show? What moniker could we take to agencies and nightclubs, and maybe Match Game, for more work? What would we have etched into our tombstones? Me, I would go with Sicily. I'm of Sicilian descent, I have the look, and I'm good with knives. No-brainer.

What about you? What's your flavorite nickname?

5 comments:

Marianne said...

I woudl say mine would have to be Pink because I have recently become addicted to tattooing and body piercing - nothing to outlandish but having some fun! ;-) (P for piercing, Ink for tattoo ink = Pink)

Corny, I know! :-D

Alessia Brio said...

I grew up with a rather corny nickname. Childhood friends still call me Dandy. I put up with it because I never felt my real name "fit" me.

In recent years, however, I've been nicknamed Imp ... and I love it.

Will Belegon said...

Ok, so I suppose I would be on of the contestants on New York's spinoff...although I'd as soon spank her as kiss her (she needs a good spanking, NOT sexually motivated here). I suspect they would tag me with "Red", a common thing for us redheads (...and better than "Opie") If it was up to me I would go with "Crash", a Bull Durham reference that dows fit a little...("Oh Crash, you do love to give speeches...)

James Buchanan said...

Every one calls me Vamp. The have for years... which goes over rather well in the whole goth scene.


And Will, we had a law professor who looked so much like Opi, that the students would hum the Mayberry theme when he walked into class.

Ali said...

I think it would be Mexarian...I'm Mexican and Korean :-) lol